Shred miles of diamond skies

"imonlygoingtoheaven..

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:02:48 GMT

if it feels like hell."

so life has been super weird lately
a lot of things have happened

i went to skool in Twin Falls for a while
absolutly hated it!! ugh
i met some cool ppl tho

im not really sure who my real friends are these days
it sucks balls pretty hard
lets see...jew is fer sure my best friend
idk if kylee even wants to be my friend..
& i just love finding out that some of the people i though were my best friends talk shit on me. wow that just feels super. whatever. fuck em. im done wasting my time with losers that dont care about anyone but themselves. everyone is too busy trying to be cool and have the coolest friends. there are wayyy more important things in life than that. fuck that.

anyway, im really need to find a job.
like ASAP! im bored sitting around all day
plus it would be nice to have some money

im thinking about moving to Vegas this summer
andrew wants me to move there with him
it would be really fun
i miss him
plus its warm there
not covered in snow like it is right now
wow, we have like 4 feet of snow

my heroes

...........................
"My only weapon was my pen
But I traded it for my hand
Not a smart move, but my move
Does this say I'm a man?

My only lesson was in my brains
But I traded them for my hand
Not a smart move, a repeat move
Does this put pay to our plan?

Hey, hey
You'll never get to heaven if you don't give back
So give back a little twist
If you wanna a lend a hand
Wait, wait
Don't leave before I'm finished
If you do then that's rude
You may learn a little bit about those things you do

I'm only going to heaven if it feels like hell
I'm only going to heaven if it tastes like caramel
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold on
Hold on, hold on

Sir, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside
Sir, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside

My only weapon was my pen
But I traded it for my hand
Not a smart move, but my move
Does this say I'm a man?

My only lesson was in my brains
But I traded them for my hand
Not a smart move, a repeat move
Does this put pay to our plan?

Hey, hey,
You'll never get to heaven if you don't give back
So give back a little twist
If you wanna a lend a hand,
Wait, wait
Don't leave before I'm finished
If you do then that's rude
You may learn a little bit about those things you do

I'm only going to heaven if it feels like hell
I'm only going to heaven if it tastes like caramel
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold on
Hold on, hold on

Sir, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside
Sir, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside
Girl, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside
Girl, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside
Girl, I've a good mind to take you outside, outside, outside

I'm only going to heaven if it feels like hell
I'm only going to heaven if it tastes like caramel"
......................................................

Terrified

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:34:02 GMT

of whats to come

let me save us

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:17:11 GMT

boysaresilly.
mostdefinitly.

theadventurewehadyesterday
rockedmyworld.

ilovetheoutdoors.

saturday nite

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 16:28:03 GMT

wasinsane.igotsuperdrunk
andpukedalot.butwhateve.
itwasfunanyway.igotsuperhigh.
fersure.andimetabunchofppl.

anyway, im just getting ready fer work
sucks. i dont wanna go. i hate ma new job
its so boring and the ppl i work with are the biggest drama queens i have ever met in my entire life and the bad thing is that they are older. like my parents age. not in highskool darlings.

well i hopei dont run outta gas
peace yo

one love

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 04:56:09 GMT

today was sooper fun.
me cynthia and jessica rockk
so freaking hard
ahha.

i think imma start dressing all crazy like again
its fun and i did it today. i loved it fer sure

kites fly real high

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 04:44:25 GMT

bring it on
watever happens
im ready

being high all the time
makes meh life so nice
so much easier

i love jessica
she rocks
we have way too much fun

this weekend will be bomb
as usual
me jess and cynthia rock

life is rad
be happy
hahahaha

my nice playlist

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:20:53 GMT

smoke two joints

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:06:40 GMT

i smokeed two joints this morning
before i went to wrk
it was nice
im feelin pretty good fer sure

laterz im goin to jescas
its gon be sooper fun
i love her lots

miserble at best

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 05:35:37 GMT

im high
and happy

my weekend

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 23:07:41 GMT

rocked

debate

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:40:21 GMT

so ive been debating something in my head fer a little while. im wondering if i shud still keep smoking weed. i love it oh so much but im going to college soon and i really dont think there is any way ill keep enough motivation to do my work well. my dad said i have to keep a 3.0 to have him pay off my student loans. so i really need to take this whole thing seriously. plus my relationships with friends and family have become pretty fucked up. how long can i keep this lifestyle really. i can always smoke weed when im older anyway. i just need to figure my life out first i guess. everything has been way crzy and super fun but now i need to get down to business. im finally able to live my life the way that i want to. im moving away and moving on. its gonna be great.

anyway, i have another stupid dilemma. i really like this kid. ha and he is a kid. hes 15 but i think he is absolutly amazing. i love spending time with him and yea. i dunno. i dont think he relizes how much i like him. and im too chicken to tell him. oh well i guess. i am moving. but it just sucks because i hate having feelings like this. i just want to be with him all the time but i cant. he lives too far away and i dont think he really likes spending time with me. hes really hard to read. sometimes i dont think he even likes me as a friend which is really sad. but i guess ill just have to live with it. ill move on i guess.

headbands

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 20:54:05 GMT

are silly but i like them

dominick is a silly kid
super cute
and yea

hopefully me and jessica get to
play today
ugh im so bored

what

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 22:58:14 GMT

so today i worked
how lame:[
but yesterday was way chill

lets just say
me tigen mitch & kirk rock
at smokin outta the hooka

me & tigen found some pretty
bomb stuff at dillards
helll yea
and we rode the escalators lol

it was fun fer sure

lol

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:25:11 GMT

so a while ago i locked the keys in the car while it was running
i felt like a complete idiot
well..
my brother just did the exact same thing
i dont feel soo dumb anymore

just try to get some rest

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 04:29:17 GMT

today was incredibly moving
and thought provoking
i had a lot to think about
and i still do
change is upon me and my soul
ive found what true contentment and
absolute discomfort mean
they can be felt at the same time
i promise you this
its a sort of pain but at the same time
the world seems at peace and you can relax
everything and nothing is going your way
but you really dont mind at all
you dont think about the future
or the past
you only ponder right now
and what this day,
(today)holds for you
many times i wonder what my purpose is
but at this moment
(right now)i dont care
i will savor this moment as my last
and live
truly live for this moment in time
i have found happiness
the power to let things go
the power to lift your spirit
the power to be at peace
with yourself
your friends
and your entire life
no one is watching and no one can change you
you are yourself
peace is this moment
and for once you can be at home
your own dimention
time stands still as the day progresses
you feel helpless but alive
the world cannot stand between you and your dreams
they are yours
no one elses
make the best of everything
and live
but at the end of the day
its best to just try to get some rest

moonshine

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 04:15:58 GMT

i love life right now
its grand

plus im leaving fer hawaii on tuesday
its going to be amazing

gorgeous paradise
i cant wait!
im going surfing everyday
chillen on the beach
just like a little hippie
itll be the best ever

and when i get home in a week im sure it will be snowing
gddddammn.

i still know everything

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 05:46:12 GMT

i might become a recluse silly little boy
and when u try to find me ill be locked up in my room
tired of the time i spent on useless endevors
sitting alone without a piece of closer

i still know everything u said
and i still hate everyone
times have changed but i stay the same
somewhere theres a good thing
but i cant seem to find it

sleeping is hard when u dont know who you are
its like every single time that i try i lie
another bit of meaning goes and slips my mind
im a failure and i could really care less

its wat i say

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:15:38 GMT

so basically ive been pondering a few things
...
sorry to everyone ive been a bitch to lately
im really sorry
i dont know whats wrong but i just havent cared about much.
...
sometimes i wish there was a way to help me
but theres not
sorry to those who try
i have to help myself
but im really not sure how yet
...
i really love my friends that have stuck with me through all the dumb shit
not just the good times :]]]
u guys are the best
...
kyle siddoway: thanks for being there for me, your awesome and def the best boyfriend. you care about me so much and im so grateful for that. i really havent decided how to be the best for you. its just really hard for me to let people in. im sorry for closing the door.
tori long: you are such an amazing person and im sorry for not listening to you. but thank you for listening to me. it really means a lot that you still want to be my friend after me being so retarded. im really sorry for shutting you out of my life as well. i dont know why i do it.
malinda paulsen: thank you for sticking with me even after we had our little falling out or whatever. you have always been there and i appreciate it so much. i love all of our crazy parties and such. they are fun.
sam page: we are buddies for sure. thank you for being my friend for all these years. we have had some great times huh, and i love it. i love that you always call me or text me to just come over and chill. its so fun.
...
i really dont deserve these friends but im glad they care about me so much. i dont know what i would do without them. haha probably just sit on my ass all day and myspace. how lame.

im also sorry to those i have disappointed lately. i know im a fuck up and i hate it. i wish there was something i could do to make everyone happy but there isnt. geez, i cant even make myself happy. but i guess i should just live for the moment ya know. take every good time i have and use it to better myself. i love all of my friends. thanks for everything and sorry i havent been myself.

buhbye everyone
<3 kaylene

so chill

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 04:24:16 GMT

wow the ride home was so chill.
im stoned out of my brains and i cant stand it!
its amazing

i like kyle
a lot

i had dinner with the craziest kids

keith was making me laugh so freaking hard
hes silly

kyle is perfect
he makes me way happy

dominique is so chill
hes fun

kali is awesome
she is so funny

i love these kids
they are so freaking fun to chill with
i gotta do it more often

time of my life for sure:x

westside

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:35:49 GMT

so ive been thinking...
im way more tight with my rexburg friends now. haha. its crasssy
but fun. they are rad.

i need a job
i want to go to warped tour
i am going to denver soon
im so broke :[
i like dill pickles
i changed my hair again
i hate my phone
i need somewhere to live
i hate my family
i like crazy rap

im tired

all done.x

so ya

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 02:23:36 GMT

im stupid....

Its what i say

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 02:12:45 GMT

ive been thinking a lot lately..
there are a lot of things i need to figure out like
why am i always so "happy" on the outsied when im actually so miserable on the inside
i dont know why i put on this facade of being normal and happy with things. i honestly dont know.
maybe im afraid what people will think if they really knew how messed up my mind is.
i like people to think that im alright
i have a lot friends that i know care about me a lot but sometimes i wonder if they really do like me. there are so many things i want to do but never seem to have what it takes to fulfill them.
i want to go to art school
i want a new car
i want to be in a indie band
i want my family to stop fighting
i want my parents to get along
i want to get along with my brothers
i want my brothers to like me and look up to me
i want to not do drugs, but i like being high too much
it makes me feel alive and i dont think about my troubles
i want people to understand me
i want my friends to know how much i care about them
i want my friends to understand why i do the things i do
i want to understand why i do the things i do
im so confused and lost. i have a lot of ideas about things and about life. but i cant express them in the ways that i want to. in ways that make sense. but anyway,
im sorry to all of my friends that i have been ditching lately to go longboarding. its just my escape and my way of handling things.

New job!

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 20:17:44 GMT

i am so excited!
got a job at Barnes and Noble in the music department
its going to be so amazing!
for sure

i cant wait!

i think im hanging out with kyle soon
and a bunch of girls ugh
oh well. i just hate girls i dunno why
well rexburg girls anyway
they are alllll exactly the same
seriously, they all act and look the same
it freaks me out
its like they cant be their own person
i wish i could move there and show people
what being yourself is
everyone there is the same
i hate it
and when someone decides to be different
they are suddenly the outcast
but whatever

anyway, im excited to start my new job
it will be awesome!
totally chill

Longboarding...

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 19:20:05 GMT

is now OFFICIALLY my favorite drug, its so relaxing and i love to just cruise and think. i love it so much! i go every night and just cruise everywhere. i went 2 nights ago with tyler swank. it was a blast! i love that boy. he is so fun. hes like a brother to me. and then last night i went with caleb rosencrants. that was fun too. um...longboarding and some greens. couldnt get better. i love nature. its calming.
anyway, my life lately has been so weird. ive been going through a lot of changes in the way i think and what i still care about. a lot of things that mattered to me before just dont seem important anymore. i dont worry anymore about some friends and their lives. i try to just worry about my life now. i use to care about pleasing everyone all the time and that was so stressful. why should i care what anyone thinks. im just kaylene. yes i do things that some people may not approve of but who cares. i do what i want. im pretty chill these days too. i dont get jealous, i dont get mad at stupid things, if people dont like me oh well i guess, their loss or something lol. i dunno i just try to relax and not worry about things. i have had 3 anxiety attacks in the past week and i hate that. so im completely done with stressing about stupid things, boys especially, that subject is the worst for sure. so im just chillen doin what i want to do. its great this way.
well im headed to work, which i hate so ill have to find a new one i guess. haha.

is there anything worth waiting for?

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 01:03:14 GMT

so my life is so f-ing confusing right now
but at the same time its great

-i have a blind date this friday...
we'll see how that goes
-work sucks
-i like too many boys right now
-but there is only 1 i wish i could have back
-i am really tired right now
...of idaho falls
...drama
...just tired period.
...work
...stupid friends that never hang out with you
...boys that ditch you all the time
...etc.
-someday i will be happy
but for now i am in
...THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
(a very good movie by the way)
((i thought so))

well hopefully i find a new job sometime
one thats a little more fun i guess...